


michael, please..

by psychgrunge



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Crying, Depressed Michael, I am so sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Michael overdoses, PLZ DONT READ IF YOU DONT LIKE TRIGGERING CONTENT, Sad, Suicide, THIS ACTAULLY MADE ME SOB, luke finds michael dead, michael commits suicide, suicide letter, this is rlly sad, triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:43:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4968514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychgrunge/pseuds/psychgrunge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>lukes pov<br/>__________</p><p>I was supposed to go over to Mike's today to hang out and watch movies, and ask him something really important.<br/>I was going to ask Michael to marry me today, we've been together for three years, through thick and thin, and I love him so much, so I pulled up the courage to go and buy a ring and pray he'd say yes. I found it kind of weird that he wouldn't respond to my texts or calls all day, but didn't think anything into because he sometimes gets into those moods where he ignores his phone and everyone all together.<br/>-<br/>Without knocking I walked straight into Michaels house after work with movies and the ring in my bag. I was met with an eery, unsettling silence. "Mike? Baby? You home?", I called out walking up the steps, to his room. Hm, he is a day sleeper, its hard to get him out of bed, maybe hes sleeping. I pushed his bedroom door open and was met with a floor scattered with empty alcohol bottles and an empty bottle of pills, and the bathroom door cracked. "Mi-ike?", my voice cracked tears already brimming my eyes as I took a step towards the bathroom, pushing it open. Right then I almost fell to my knees, mouth wide open.</p>
            </blockquote>





	michael, please..

**Author's Note:**

> Laying on the floor was my boyfriend, supposed to be fiance, mouth agape, cold, pale, unmoving. I immediately fell to my knees shaking him.  
> "Michael! Michael! Please! Please wake up", I sobbed, tears blurring my vision.  
> I was too late.. his heart had already long gone stopped.
> 
> "Why?! Michael, why, why, why? Why would you leave? No, no, no. Michael I can't believe you fucking left me! Michael, please!", I screamed, shaking his shoulders as more tears flooded my eyes. 
> 
> Sobs wracked my body as I hugged him close, too scared to let him go.  
> "Please.. please.. this can't be happening, this isn't happening", I whispered my tears stainging his shirt as I clung to him.  
> I felt something poke me, I pulled a note out of his front pocket.  
> It was.. it was a suicide note..  
> I read it out loud to myself best I could through the hiccups:

Dear Luke,  
Baby, it's so hard to write this when you're the only reason I forced myself to wake up every morning. You were my rock, you held me grounded when I wasn't sane.  
I'm so sorry to tell you this, but it wasn't enough.. Trust me loving you was the best thing I've ever done, and I'll miss you so fucking much baby, I'm sobbing while writing this, I never wanted to leave you, I swear, but I couldn't stay.. Not in the condition I was in Luke, I couldn't stay that way. It was deteriorating me, and there was only so much of me left.  
I lied when I said I stopped, it was too hard and I loved the way your face lit up, and the little kisses you would litter my face with when I told you I did.  
I loved the hugs you gave when you would engulf my entire body in your arm and rest your face in my neck, I'm really going to miss those, where ever I go.  
But, what I'm really going to fucking miss the most is when would just lay in bed all day cuddling, nuzzling, staring into each other eyes, talking about life.  
I'm going to miss the way you tell me you love me every minute like you thought I'd slip away if you didn't.  
The thing is.. I did slip away.. not from you, I'll always, fucking always, love you unconditionally. I tried to fucking hard to stay alive, I really did, I swear, for you, I tried.. for the boys I tried..  
It was life that I slipped away from, I'm so sorry Luke, I couldn't handle it, I couldn't do it.  
I really hope that you'll move on from me, find someone who deserves you, someone who wasn't as fucked up as me, because I sure as hell didn't deserve someone as angelic and beautiful as you. Please tell the boys I said goodbye and that I love them, they'll always be my brothers alive or not. I've never went a day without sobbing in appreciation from all the love you, Cal, and Ash showered me with.  
You guys gave me so fucking much and I couldn't return it, and for that I apologize. Please forgive me.  
Goodbye and I love you all so fucking much, more than anything.

Yours unconditionally,  
Mikey x

**Author's Note:**

> I ran out of tears, I couldn't even speak. I watched as the ambulance loaded Michael onto a stretcher, Ashton trying to pull a sobbing, screaming Calum away from Michaels lifeless body. All I could do was clutch Michaels jacket as close to me as I could, note in hand, eyes glaring at the engagement ring, speechless. Eyes zoned in on the note, ring, ambulance, background filled with cries and screams from Michaels best friend trying his best to defy the paramedics and cling to Michael not wanting to believe his best friend committed suicide.


End file.
